Elle
Stalker
Posts: 226
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Post by Elle on Jun 11, 2010 23:08:11 GMT -6
NO ... IT'S MINE!!!  .... steal away ... I don't even remember who I stole that from ... now I kinda want to get dressed up and take some pics just to show off the cleavage of holding. *laughs* except we're keeping things PG-13 here, aren't we? that wouldn't work *laughs* |
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deathlynx
Stalker
Representing evil!
Posts: 379
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Post by deathlynx on Jun 12, 2010 18:23:39 GMT -6
Cleavage can be kept to PG13! |
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Elle
Stalker
Posts: 226
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Post by Elle on Jun 12, 2010 22:41:10 GMT -6
you haven't seen my cleavage |
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Post by Michelle on Jun 13, 2010 21:22:11 GMT -6
 I don't even remember what this thread was about. |
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Post by Raven on Jul 19, 2010 18:37:16 GMT -6
The debate over cleavage?
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Post by ailishsmom on Jun 25, 2011 17:43:52 GMT -6
Some might call this parody, I call it Truth. (Courtesy of M.R. Sellars)
WHAT IS COFFEE?
cof-fee [kaw-fee, kof-ee] -noun : decoction of crushed, roasted seeds ingested primarily as a vehicle for caffeine delivery. – I haz some.
COFFEE COMMANDMENTS
“And BEAN spoke all these words, saying: I am BEAN, your God…”
“1: You shall have no other caffeinated beverages before Me.”
“2: You shall not make for yourself a false coffee, such as anything that is in the likeness of decaf.”
“3: You shall not spill the brew of the BEAN in vain.”
“4: Remember the birthday of Saint Juan Valdez, to keep it holy.”
“5: Honor thy roasts, espresso, dark, medium, regular, and all in between.”
“6: You shall not murder after partaking of the brew. Before is okay, after, not so much.”
“7: You shall not drink tea as opposed to coffee, for this act is to commit adultery against the BEAN.”
“8: You shall not steal the coffee of another.”
“9: You shall not falsely accuse thy neighbor of being a cola drinker.”
“10: You shall not covet your neighbor’s Bunn, Krups, Saeco, etc.”
GOSPELS OF THE BEAN
On the third day, Starbuck said to them, “Drink this and you will live, for it is of the BEAN.” -Gevalia 42:18
BEAN said,”In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, COFFEE will overcome.” Juan 16:33
And Juan did according to all that the BEAN commanded him. – Gevalia 7:5
When Starbuck partook of the coffee, he bowed down to the ground before the BEAN. – Gevalia 24:52
Starbuck said to the baristas, “Come here and listen to the words of the BEAN your God.” – Starbuck 3:9
“It will produce caffeinated beverages for you, and you will drink the brew of the BEAN.” – Gevalia 3:18
“And BEAN spoke all these words, saying: I am BEAN, your God… 1: You shall have no other caffeinated beverages before Me.”
The angel of BEAN said to me in the diner, ‘Coffee?’ I answered, ‘Yes, please.’ – Gevalia 31:11
“So BEAN created coffee in its own image, in the image of BEAN it created brew; Arabica and Canephora it created them.” – Gevalia 1:27
“So Juan moved his tents and went to live near the mountains, where he built an altar to the BEAN.” – Gevalia 13:18
BEAN said to Coffee, “Where is your brother Espresso?”, “I dunno,” he replied. “Do I look like a Starbucks?” Gevalia 4:9
The Bean said, “It is not good for mankind to be groggy. I will make a caffeinated drink suitable for them.” – Gevalia 2:18
Bean said, “Let there be brew,” and there was brew. Bean saw that brew was good, and separated brew from grounds. – Gevalia 1:3
For coffee so loved the world it gave its one and only brew, that whoever drinks it shall be not foul but have good mood. – Krups 3:16
Brew not, and you shall not have coffee. Drink not, and you shall not be awake. — 2 Juan, 6:37
“Now, my Coffee, may your bean be ground and your caffeine extracted for the drinkers of your brew.” — 2 Starbucks, 6:40
“He who has coffee is better than the coffeeless; and he that drinketh his coffee than he that doesn’t.” – 1 Peaberry, 16:32
“Tea may endure for a night, but coffee cometh in the morning.” — Peaberry 30:5
May the glory of the bean endure forever; may the bean rejoice in its caffeine – 1 Folgers, 2:19
Awaken me, O COFFEE, for your caffeine is kind; With your great stimulant, lead me to the path of consciousness. —Starbuck 69:69
COFFEE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS
Coffee makes all things new again. A public service announcement of the Church of the Latter Day Bean…
PENANCE
Tea is an Aqueous sin and Cola is both an Aqueous and a Carbonic sin, making it far worse. 24 Hail Peaberries minimum
COFFEE PRAYER
Oh coffee, who art in cup, Java be thy name. Thy espresso shot, rich and hot, just keep the refills a comin’…
Oh coffee, who art in cup, peaberry be thy name. Thy caffeine come, as I swill one, do they have refills in heaven?
COFFEE AFFIRMATIONS
Coffee is great, coffee is good, I’d best go drink some before I’m rude…
Coffee is great, coffee is good. Better give me more before I get rude…
Coffee is great, coffee is good, let us thank it for our mood…
Thou hast raised me from sleep, O coffee; awaken my mind and open my lips, that I may praise Thee, O Holy Trinity- Bean, creamer, and sugar.
Glory be to the bean and to the grinder and to the water, as it was in the beginning, but is now, coffee without end.
Coffee…grant me the strength to pour, the serenity to brew when the pot is empty, and the wisdom to not kill anyone yet.
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Post by Skitty on Jun 28, 2011 12:56:45 GMT -6
Coffee. Gak!
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Post by JeannieHolmes on Jun 28, 2011 14:31:24 GMT -6
Great. Now I want coffee.
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Post by ailishsmom on Jun 28, 2011 20:16:47 GMT -6
And that's different, how?
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Post by JeannieHolmes on Jun 28, 2011 21:00:55 GMT -6
Um. Well.... uh.... erm.... Okay, it's not any different. But that's still funny as phuck, T'.  |
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Post by Skitty on Jul 6, 2011 7:22:21 GMT -6
Just got home from visiting my daughter. She was stumbling around the other morning needing her caffeine fix so she proceeded to make coffee. A few minutes later, I call to her and ask "I don't know much about making coffee, but is it supposed to be clear??" Guess what she forgot?  Caffeine-less morning fog 1, Daughter 0. |
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Post by ailishsmom on Jul 6, 2011 12:14:48 GMT -6
I've done that! It's sooo disappointing when you expect coffee and get boiled water instead! LOL
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I don't even remember what this thread was about. 
